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I've been checking my FList and haven't seen you on. When you get on send me a /tell please, thanks!
Um, guess I could've answered this post like a week ago, but I told you ingame last weekend so I didn't bother. If anyone else is curious I've been hospitalized since mid-December and I will be staying for about another month at least, realistically two more months. (right now the little angel on your left shoulder tells you to rate up this miserable ****er lol)
I've brought my laptop with me to the hospital, but I rarely feel like playing since I have to hi-jack the tp cable from the stationary computer that I'm sharing with the 5-6 other patients in this hall.
I also study two different classes of English through the hospital's school. I have a designater teacher that helps me two days a week but everyone else takes these classes over two years, so it still takes up quite an amount of time and resources for such a reckless, restless and easily distracted/tempted young man as myself.
I'm home almost every weekend though, so I try to get online a few hours every Friday and Saturday. It'll be problematic this weekend though, since I get non-FFXI-company over both Friday and Saturday nights.
I've gotten several messages (and whenever I log on I get bombed with tells) from people who wonder where I've been. I hope this clears things up for at least part of my friend list and other people I've used to bump into on a regular basis - and also that the rest of the community (that obviously couldn't care less) will kindly ignore this thread.
Yours truly;
Stackdump, senior Attention ***** of the Ragnarok server.
I've brought my laptop with me to the hospital, but I rarely feel like playing since I have to hi-jack the tp cable from the stationary computer that I'm sharing with the 5-6 other patients in this hall.
I also study two different classes of English through the hospital's school. I have a designater teacher that helps me two days a week but everyone else takes these classes over two years, so it still takes up quite an amount of time and resources for such a reckless, restless and easily distracted/tempted young man as myself.
I'm home almost every weekend though, so I try to get online a few hours every Friday and Saturday. It'll be problematic this weekend though, since I get non-FFXI-company over both Friday and Saturday nights.
I've gotten several messages (and whenever I log on I get bombed with tells) from people who wonder where I've been. I hope this clears things up for at least part of my friend list and other people I've used to bump into on a regular basis - and also that the rest of the community (that obviously couldn't care less) will kindly ignore this thread.
Yours truly;
Stackdump, senior Attention ***** of the Ragnarok server.
Sorry to hear you've been in the hospital, which never seems like a fun place to be. I hope you get thru whatever happened and come out stronger. Best wishes. -Boog
Aww Stacky. :( If you need anything, you know how to find me. :) <3
Hospitals freak me out. :( I hope you get better soon.
Well Stack, we're all hoping for a clean-bill of health for you and a quick release. I'm sure we'll see you in the game soon enough
And I can honestly say... It wasn't my fault.
And I can honestly say... It wasn't my fault.
Hello again.
Er, I bumped this thread instead of making a new one, I'm not sure which would be better so I figured keeping it in one place wouldn't hurt.
When I posted my first post I assumed that I would recover and return to the old ingame life quicker than it seems now. Although my treatment has been most valuable to me in some areas, there's also issues that has worsened. As much as I would love to come online, I really cannot. Most of the time I'm in hospital, and when I'm not I'm too restless/busy to log into the game.
Now, I know that I've made invaluable friendships through the game, thus it really saddens me to leave the game be for such an extended period of time. I figured I should at least leave an email address. I know not all the players that I've made close friends with over the course of the 18 months / 300 days playtime would read this, but for those who are, my AIM is metareference and the email attached to it would be metareference@aim.com. I encourage everyone that I've spent a lot of chatting/questing/mission/partying/other time with - and gotten to know on a personal level - to email me. I got so damn much time on my hands I'm going crazy. Being hospitalized can be interesting at times, but heck, even with all the drama that unfolds on a daily basis it's still boring, oh-so-boring.
I still believe, although it's not as firm a belief as it used to be, that I will one day return to the game and play on a more regular basis. There's alot of things that has to be dealt with first, though, and even if it weren't I got this terrible, terrible restlessness that feels like earthworms crawling and eating me up from inside, everytime I sit down for more than two minutes with nothing particular to do. I think writing mails and learning stuff through the internet or pop psychology magazines is the only things that can keep me sitting for thirty minutes.
So, friends: Email me: metareference@aim.com
everyone else: rate-down, troll and complain - or simply ignore ^^
Er, I bumped this thread instead of making a new one, I'm not sure which would be better so I figured keeping it in one place wouldn't hurt.
When I posted my first post I assumed that I would recover and return to the old ingame life quicker than it seems now. Although my treatment has been most valuable to me in some areas, there's also issues that has worsened. As much as I would love to come online, I really cannot. Most of the time I'm in hospital, and when I'm not I'm too restless/busy to log into the game.
Now, I know that I've made invaluable friendships through the game, thus it really saddens me to leave the game be for such an extended period of time. I figured I should at least leave an email address. I know not all the players that I've made close friends with over the course of the 18 months / 300 days playtime would read this, but for those who are, my AIM is metareference and the email attached to it would be metareference@aim.com. I encourage everyone that I've spent a lot of chatting/questing/mission/partying/other time with - and gotten to know on a personal level - to email me. I got so damn much time on my hands I'm going crazy. Being hospitalized can be interesting at times, but heck, even with all the drama that unfolds on a daily basis it's still boring, oh-so-boring.
I still believe, although it's not as firm a belief as it used to be, that I will one day return to the game and play on a more regular basis. There's alot of things that has to be dealt with first, though, and even if it weren't I got this terrible, terrible restlessness that feels like earthworms crawling and eating me up from inside, everytime I sit down for more than two minutes with nothing particular to do. I think writing mails and learning stuff through the internet or pop psychology magazines is the only things that can keep me sitting for thirty minutes.
So, friends: Email me: metareference@aim.com
everyone else: rate-down, troll and complain - or simply ignore ^^
I don't really know you ingame, but take care of your health, and I hope you can return to any activites you enjoy soon.
Stackdump wrote:
Hello again.
Er, I bumped this thread instead of making a new one, I'm not sure which would be better so I figured keeping it in one place wouldn't hurt.
When I posted my first post I assumed that I would recover and return to the old ingame life quicker than it seems now. Although my treatment has been most valuable to me in some areas, there's also issues that has worsened. As much as I would love to come online, I really cannot. Most of the time I'm in hospital, and when I'm not I'm too restless/busy to log into the game.
Now, I know that I've made invaluable friendships through the game, thus it really saddens me to leave the game be for such an extended period of time. I figured I should at least leave an email address. I know not all the players that I've made close friends with over the course of the 18 months / 300 days playtime would read this, but for those who are, my AIM is metareference and the email attached to it would be metareference@aim.com. I encourage everyone that I've spent a lot of chatting/questing/mission/partying/other time with - and gotten to know on a personal level - to email me. I got so damn much time on my hands I'm going crazy. Being hospitalized can be interesting at times, but heck, even with all the drama that unfolds on a daily basis it's still boring, oh-so-boring.
I still believe, although it's not as firm a belief as it used to be, that I will one day return to the game and play on a more regular basis. There's alot of things that has to be dealt with first, though, and even if it weren't I got this terrible, terrible restlessness that feels like earthworms crawling and eating me up from inside, everytime I sit down for more than two minutes with nothing particular to do. I think writing mails and learning stuff through the internet or pop psychology magazines is the only things that can keep me sitting for thirty minutes.
So, friends: Email me: metareference@aim.com
everyone else: rate-down, troll and complain - or simply ignore ^^
Er, I bumped this thread instead of making a new one, I'm not sure which would be better so I figured keeping it in one place wouldn't hurt.
When I posted my first post I assumed that I would recover and return to the old ingame life quicker than it seems now. Although my treatment has been most valuable to me in some areas, there's also issues that has worsened. As much as I would love to come online, I really cannot. Most of the time I'm in hospital, and when I'm not I'm too restless/busy to log into the game.
Now, I know that I've made invaluable friendships through the game, thus it really saddens me to leave the game be for such an extended period of time. I figured I should at least leave an email address. I know not all the players that I've made close friends with over the course of the 18 months / 300 days playtime would read this, but for those who are, my AIM is metareference and the email attached to it would be metareference@aim.com. I encourage everyone that I've spent a lot of chatting/questing/mission/partying/other time with - and gotten to know on a personal level - to email me. I got so damn much time on my hands I'm going crazy. Being hospitalized can be interesting at times, but heck, even with all the drama that unfolds on a daily basis it's still boring, oh-so-boring.
I still believe, although it's not as firm a belief as it used to be, that I will one day return to the game and play on a more regular basis. There's alot of things that has to be dealt with first, though, and even if it weren't I got this terrible, terrible restlessness that feels like earthworms crawling and eating me up from inside, everytime I sit down for more than two minutes with nothing particular to do. I think writing mails and learning stuff through the internet or pop psychology magazines is the only things that can keep me sitting for thirty minutes.
So, friends: Email me: metareference@aim.com
everyone else: rate-down, troll and complain - or simply ignore ^^
heys tack, Im glad youa re still trucking along. I wish you the best and hope you return to Ragnarok one day.
In the light of what happened last night it's possible that I'll take a few steps backwards, fall back to my old life of paranoia and FFXI and have tons upon tons of playtime.
I had a large quanta of guts in a bottle yesterday, it took about three quarters of the whole bottle before I dared confess to my friend news I expected him not to take lightly.
Wether it was the highly symbolic effect of pouring down glass after glass, getting new ice cubes as they melted, refilling and downing two more glasses and so on, and so on... or the classic expectations about drunk people and how they speak the truth, I cannot say. It could also be that I'm a coward, or that some things are best left untold, but if they must be said, Jack Daniels for the win. Jack will soothe your soul, darken your mind and ready your body for whatever comes.
I met her two months ago, nearly. In the aftermath of the first approach, I could say that she had the beauty of (insert whatever works for you) and that there was this connection of sorts, as if our souls tried to reach out to eachother. I could say those things, and it would be a) the lamest cliché and b) true.
But instead of saying that, I would prefer to get to the bottom of things. And yesterday I got to the bottom of a large bottle of JD as well as to the bottom of a truth that has imposed some sort of soul-hurt the last few weeks of my life.
So I told my best friend that I was in love with his late brother's girlfriend, and that she was in love with me too. And I shivered, and cried and he couldn't understand what terrible things I had to confess. I opened my mouth and just said it, although it took a few minutes before I could. And I've never been afraid to take a hit to my face before, because there's something about getting smacked around if there's no particular reason to it, in fact I enjoy that, but the symbolism and drama and frustration behind my friend's fist would be terrible to embrace.
I opened my mouth, it slipped out, and suddenly he understood where I was coming from, with my shivering and various other signals of a normally clean conscience turned rotten and stale.
He didn't hit me though. And he didn't ban me from his life, or anything else that includes curses, vendettas or customized knee-caps. He told me that noone would be better suited to be with her than I. And in some ways his reaction was the only decent one, but in other ways it was nothing but generousity overload.
Now, at this point you'd be wondering, what the hell does this have to do with anything. Sure, it's a clichéladen story, nice ta hear ya out and all, but for cryin' out loud get to the frickin point. To my defense, I'd like to quote something Max Payne said once, in the game with the same name: "Nothing is a cliché when it comes to you." So, it seems, that even though history repeats itself and it doesn't make you go all enthusiastic and wanna hear it over again - pissing on the grave of my best friend's brother is an action that I'm currently performing, and until yesterday I had trouble dealing with myself because of it.
But, the frickin point, as I took the liberty of assuming that your mind so subtly chose to call it earlier, is this: There's no tolerance for getting drunk, or in my case ****** and showing up on the hospital while still under the influence. "It wrecks havoc on your treatment, young man." "It scares the other patients, good sir." "It makes you confront desires like suicide or other self-destructive patterns of behaviour at a whole new level, Mr Lightbringer." Yes! Yes! Yes! I understand! You're right! Thanks for the piece of information.
So, until tomorrow I do not know what will happen, but I might get kicked out of here. I suppose they should be more happy about that decision than they are, because there's things they do not know. Just two days ago, I was in my room drinking myself silly on that famous JD. And I confess, I've had intercourse and related activities with two female patients. And I confess also, that I pull strings and I talk and I discuss and I share, and we're not supposed to.
Very well, if that happens I'll be falling back into the old routine of synthing... or better yet, running around as RDM/WAR with a rune blade and a lightning bow and spam Vorpal blade upon easy prey with berserk up and meatkabobs to find my damage output interesting.
I had a large quanta of guts in a bottle yesterday, it took about three quarters of the whole bottle before I dared confess to my friend news I expected him not to take lightly.
Wether it was the highly symbolic effect of pouring down glass after glass, getting new ice cubes as they melted, refilling and downing two more glasses and so on, and so on... or the classic expectations about drunk people and how they speak the truth, I cannot say. It could also be that I'm a coward, or that some things are best left untold, but if they must be said, Jack Daniels for the win. Jack will soothe your soul, darken your mind and ready your body for whatever comes.
I met her two months ago, nearly. In the aftermath of the first approach, I could say that she had the beauty of (insert whatever works for you) and that there was this connection of sorts, as if our souls tried to reach out to eachother. I could say those things, and it would be a) the lamest cliché and b) true.
But instead of saying that, I would prefer to get to the bottom of things. And yesterday I got to the bottom of a large bottle of JD as well as to the bottom of a truth that has imposed some sort of soul-hurt the last few weeks of my life.
So I told my best friend that I was in love with his late brother's girlfriend, and that she was in love with me too. And I shivered, and cried and he couldn't understand what terrible things I had to confess. I opened my mouth and just said it, although it took a few minutes before I could. And I've never been afraid to take a hit to my face before, because there's something about getting smacked around if there's no particular reason to it, in fact I enjoy that, but the symbolism and drama and frustration behind my friend's fist would be terrible to embrace.
I opened my mouth, it slipped out, and suddenly he understood where I was coming from, with my shivering and various other signals of a normally clean conscience turned rotten and stale.
He didn't hit me though. And he didn't ban me from his life, or anything else that includes curses, vendettas or customized knee-caps. He told me that noone would be better suited to be with her than I. And in some ways his reaction was the only decent one, but in other ways it was nothing but generousity overload.
Now, at this point you'd be wondering, what the hell does this have to do with anything. Sure, it's a clichéladen story, nice ta hear ya out and all, but for cryin' out loud get to the frickin point. To my defense, I'd like to quote something Max Payne said once, in the game with the same name: "Nothing is a cliché when it comes to you." So, it seems, that even though history repeats itself and it doesn't make you go all enthusiastic and wanna hear it over again - pissing on the grave of my best friend's brother is an action that I'm currently performing, and until yesterday I had trouble dealing with myself because of it.
But, the frickin point, as I took the liberty of assuming that your mind so subtly chose to call it earlier, is this: There's no tolerance for getting drunk, or in my case ****** and showing up on the hospital while still under the influence. "It wrecks havoc on your treatment, young man." "It scares the other patients, good sir." "It makes you confront desires like suicide or other self-destructive patterns of behaviour at a whole new level, Mr Lightbringer." Yes! Yes! Yes! I understand! You're right! Thanks for the piece of information.
So, until tomorrow I do not know what will happen, but I might get kicked out of here. I suppose they should be more happy about that decision than they are, because there's things they do not know. Just two days ago, I was in my room drinking myself silly on that famous JD. And I confess, I've had intercourse and related activities with two female patients. And I confess also, that I pull strings and I talk and I discuss and I share, and we're not supposed to.
Very well, if that happens I'll be falling back into the old routine of synthing... or better yet, running around as RDM/WAR with a rune blade and a lightning bow and spam Vorpal blade upon easy prey with berserk up and meatkabobs to find my damage output interesting.
Scholar
19 posts
I haven't been on allakazam much in a while but glad i came on today and saw this thread. I had no clue you been in hospital so hope you get better.
Yeah, I suppose it was unavoidable, to some extent, all things considered.
After having broken nearly every unwritten rule there is - repeatedly at that - at the mental ward, it seems I'm losing my room. I'm a bit ashamed of that, since it's nearly impossible to get kicked out of an institution like this, where they expect people to be a bit... oh I dunno, 'off'? (That's why I don't wanna deal with those details in this public forum. Just trust me, you don't wanna know lol) Starting Wednesday the eight of March, that's two days from now, I'll be outta here. I'll be getting more playtime, especially the coming weekend when I've planned to play around the clock, exp my RDM hard and hopefully gain 72 before sunday evening.
I'm looking forward to play again, see the population of Rag again (yeah that's you guys) and kick some easy prey asses, or cripple the hell out of IT weapons in sky with my enfeebling magic.
For those of you that find my return interesting, let's do something, anything together. Look me up during the weekend, and I'll send you a line everytime the different enfeeb magic animations takes their sweet old time finishing. I might not be able to do sweet nothings with anyone during the weekend, but I'll be more available during next week I guess - I want to get some gettogethers together to get some items that I... wait, wow that's a sad sentence composition... Well, anyway, I might be able to solo Death from Above as RDM72/WAR36, I'm not sure but those wasps that drops the larvae sure are easy already.
Yeah, useless rambling old Stack... I'll just shut up and pretend tomyself I got my message through.
With regards
Immorality Incarnate, aka Stackdump. Take care.
After having broken nearly every unwritten rule there is - repeatedly at that - at the mental ward, it seems I'm losing my room. I'm a bit ashamed of that, since it's nearly impossible to get kicked out of an institution like this, where they expect people to be a bit... oh I dunno, 'off'? (That's why I don't wanna deal with those details in this public forum. Just trust me, you don't wanna know lol) Starting Wednesday the eight of March, that's two days from now, I'll be outta here. I'll be getting more playtime, especially the coming weekend when I've planned to play around the clock, exp my RDM hard and hopefully gain 72 before sunday evening.
I'm looking forward to play again, see the population of Rag again (yeah that's you guys) and kick some easy prey asses, or cripple the hell out of IT weapons in sky with my enfeebling magic.
For those of you that find my return interesting, let's do something, anything together. Look me up during the weekend, and I'll send you a line everytime the different enfeeb magic animations takes their sweet old time finishing. I might not be able to do sweet nothings with anyone during the weekend, but I'll be more available during next week I guess - I want to get some gettogethers together to get some items that I... wait, wow that's a sad sentence composition... Well, anyway, I might be able to solo Death from Above as RDM72/WAR36, I'm not sure but those wasps that drops the larvae sure are easy already.
Yeah, useless rambling old Stack... I'll just shut up and pretend tomyself I got my message through.
With regards
Immorality Incarnate, aka Stackdump. Take care.
Stackdump wrote:
Yeah, I suppose it was unavoidable, to some extent, all things considered.
After having broken nearly every unwritten rule there is - repeatedly at that - at the mental ward, it seems I'm losing my room. I'm a bit ashamed of that, since it's nearly impossible to get kicked out of an institution like this, where they expect people to be a bit... oh I dunno, 'off'? (That's why I don't wanna deal with those details in this public forum. Just trust me, you don't wanna know lol) Starting Wednesday the eight of March, that's two days from now, I'll be outta here. I'll be getting more playtime, especially the coming weekend when I've planned to play around the clock, exp my RDM hard and hopefully gain 72 before sunday evening.
I'm looking forward to play again, see the population of Rag again (yeah that's you guys) and kick some easy prey asses, or cripple the hell out of IT weapons in sky with my enfeebling magic.
For those of you that find my return interesting, let's do something, anything together. Look me up during the weekend, and I'll send you a line everytime the different enfeeb magic animations takes their sweet old time finishing. I might not be able to do sweet nothings with anyone during the weekend, but I'll be more available during next week I guess - I want to get some gettogethers together to get some items that I... wait, wow that's a sad sentence composition... Well, anyway, I might be able to solo Death from Above as RDM72/WAR36, I'm not sure but those wasps that drops the larvae sure are easy already.
Yeah, useless rambling old Stack... I'll just shut up and pretend tomyself I got my message through.
With regards
Immorality Incarnate, aka Stackdump. Take care.
After having broken nearly every unwritten rule there is - repeatedly at that - at the mental ward, it seems I'm losing my room. I'm a bit ashamed of that, since it's nearly impossible to get kicked out of an institution like this, where they expect people to be a bit... oh I dunno, 'off'? (That's why I don't wanna deal with those details in this public forum. Just trust me, you don't wanna know lol) Starting Wednesday the eight of March, that's two days from now, I'll be outta here. I'll be getting more playtime, especially the coming weekend when I've planned to play around the clock, exp my RDM hard and hopefully gain 72 before sunday evening.
I'm looking forward to play again, see the population of Rag again (yeah that's you guys) and kick some easy prey asses, or cripple the hell out of IT weapons in sky with my enfeebling magic.
For those of you that find my return interesting, let's do something, anything together. Look me up during the weekend, and I'll send you a line everytime the different enfeeb magic animations takes their sweet old time finishing. I might not be able to do sweet nothings with anyone during the weekend, but I'll be more available during next week I guess - I want to get some gettogethers together to get some items that I... wait, wow that's a sad sentence composition... Well, anyway, I might be able to solo Death from Above as RDM72/WAR36, I'm not sure but those wasps that drops the larvae sure are easy already.
Yeah, useless rambling old Stack... I'll just shut up and pretend tomyself I got my message through.
With regards
Immorality Incarnate, aka Stackdump. Take care.
FFXI can be surprisingly theraputic, it has been helping me cope with my husbands first deployment. I wish you all the best and I look forward to seeing you in Vanadiel.
Sweat & Sleaze
-Niobia
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