Abraham Lincoln, Vampire HunterFollow

Yes, this needs its own topic.


So... anyone read the book?

Yeah, I'm gonna have to watch this one. Whether I go see it in theaters or wait for blu-ray, however, is a matter of how broke I am when it releases.

Is this related to "Time Lincoln!" in any way? It's where Abraham Lincoln has a time machine and he fights *****. If it is, I'll go see this at theaters. If it's not, I'll still go see this in theaters. Just kind of curious.

Awesome. I keep meaning to read that book and never get round to it. But I've read the first 10 pages, and they were funny to me. But then, I like Pride and Prejudice. And zombies.

If you check out the video with Walker on the set here, he certainly looks the part. I don't know why the trailer has so much beardless Lincoln in it.

Bump, as I finally saw this last night (I think it came out last week?).

Movie wasn't bad; typical action flick, with a slight horror tinge to it (lots of stuff popping out at people).

Plot: SpoilerAs a child, Abe attacks a slaver named Bartz who is stealing away his best (free, black) friend's family, and promptly get whipped in return for his trouble. Papa Lincoln intervenes, and is fired as a result, with the slaver saying "There are other ways you can pay off the rest of your debt." That night, the door to the Lincoln log cabin opens and little Abe sees Bartz come in and do... something to his mother's wrist. The next day his mother is deathly ill and quickly perishes. Abe wants revenge, but his father swears him to not pursue. When his father dies several years later, a teenage Abe decides it's revenge time. Mustering his courage with the help of a lot of alcohol, he meets a man named Henry at the bar who mentions that a man only gets that drunk if he wants to kiss a girl or kill a man. Abe tries to take down Bartz, but discovers that the point-blank shot to his eye doesn't keep the now-transformed monster down. Right before Abe is chomped, Henry appears and fights off Bartz, saving Abe's life.

As Abe recovers he learns that Henry is dedicated to fighting and killing vampires. He teaches Abe all of his tricks, and gives him a shiny, silver-plated ax to do his dirty work. Abe is sent on his way with a few rules: make no connections with people, and follow all of Henry's orders. Abe takes a job as a shopkeeper from a red-headed man named Speed. He soon meets Mary Todd, a young, well-to-do woman in Springfield, and is reunited with his childhood friend, Will, who is on the run from escaped slave catchers (even though Will is a free man). While working and studying to be a lawyer, Abe receives messages from Henry about vampires in the town, and dispatches them. This soon catches the attention of the head vampire Adam, his sister, and his henchman Bartz.

Henry arrives and admonishes Abe for making connections with people, especially Mary Todd. He does give up Bartz's location, however, and Abe gets his revenge. He discovers soon after that Henry himself is a vampire, and the goal of most vampires in America is to ensure slavery continues as a steady food source for the blood suckers. After narrowly avoiding a trapped meeting set by Adam, Abe escapes with the help of slaves and decides that there is more than one way to fight the vampires: eliminating slavery would also force their hand by cutting off their easy food source. Abe marries Mary Todd and goes into politics with the goal of slowing the spread of slavery.

Decades pass, and Abe becomes president (and grows a beard). When his son is killed by Adam's sister after the start of the Civil War, Abe vows to stop the vampires and signs the Emancipation Proclamation. After some devastating losses due to the use of vampire troops by the Confederacy, Abe requisitions all the silver available in DC and sends it to Gettsyberg for a final showdown. Speed tells Adam about the train carrying the silver, and the vampires attack in force... to find that the "silver" is actually just crates of rocks, and Lincoln, Speed, and Will have set a diversion and trap to kill Adam. After a terrific fight, some help from Henry, and Speed's death, Adam dies as well. The silver travels to Gettysberg via the "underground railroad" along with Mary Todd, who kills Adam's sister and gets revenge for her son's death.

After the battle, Henry offers to make Abe a vampire in order to continue the fight as an immortal leader, but Abe declines, saying a myth can be more use than a man. He grabs his hat and goes off to the theater with his wife. The movie ends many years later, with a man in a bar getting drunk. Henry turns to him and mentions that a man only gets that drunk when he wants to kiss a girl or kill a man...

Anyway, a pretty fun movie, with a good amount of jumpy parts. I somehow feel like proud Southerners might not care for it as much, as the movie makes the slavery issue the main focus (because slaves = vampire fodder), and shows Jefferson Davis making a deal with Adam to get vampire troops to fight on behalf of the Confederacy. But really, it's just a funny mash-up of meme and history, and should be taken as such. I liked it.

I read the book shortly after it came out and caught the movie last weekend. The movie was fun to waste a Sunday afternoon on, but I'm glad I only paid $5 for the ticket.

The book was infinitely better (as these things usually are) and they changed the plot of the movie enough that it bothered me and didn't bother me at the same time.